May 26, 2013 Algeria Africa

Restaurant Bilad E Cham, Mazafran: The Worst Lebanese Restaurant

Phone Number: +213 21320000

Address: Hotel Safir, Mazafran, Zeralda, 16320, Algeria

Website: http://www.safirmazafran.com/Bilad-E-Cham.html

Price Range: 40-60 $

RATING:8/100

Welcoming: 1/5

Food Temperature: 2/10

Ambiance / Music: 0/10

Menu Choice: 2/5

Food Taste: 0/30

Architecture / Interior: 2/10

Food presentation: 1/10

Service: 0/10

Value for money: Soon

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I'm in Algeria this weekend... We took a 20-minute drive from Alger's center to reach the touristic compound of Mazafran. That is where the Safir Hotel is located. A restaurant that is supposed to be one of the best in town... You walk into long lobby, dimmed lit place followed by a corridor to the right which takes you to Bilad E Cham, a restaurant serving  Lebanese cuisine, located at the end of the complex.  If this is the best restaurant that serves Lebanese cuisine in town... I seriously don't want to even imagine what's worse...

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The first impression is not the best:

  • The low ceiling makes the place claustrophobic
  • Dimmed lighting that's more suitable for a nightclub than a restaurant
  • Smoke haunts the place; Make sure to stay in groups not to lose each other inside
  • Violet table napkins on square plates
  • White table cloths add a glimpse of refinement
  • Salt and pepper shakers, placed in the middle of the tables are even dirtier than a kid's clothes after a football game

I'm sorry to inform you that you'll have to bare listening to the scathing shouting of their one man show and his background echoes.

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Tonight, and accompanying one of this restaurant's elite customers, I was invited on a tour in the kitchen. I seriously wish I hadn't. I'm sorry for not taking any pictures. It was too disgusting to share. The chef, proud of his cuisine, promised to serve us the best Middle Eastern cuisine produced by mankind.

A culinary experience no Lebanese or Syrian would ever admit to be a part of their culture:

  • Tabbouleh needs more flavor. It just tastes simple parsley
  • Sambousik are too watery and needs more crunchiness of the dough
  • Kebbe is too oily
  • Labneh has a fade taste and too lemony like almost everything served tonight. It tastes nothing like the Labneh we know. Maybe they have to find another name for this dish
  • Cheese rolls are more of French roulades than the ones served at local restaurants in Lebanon: The puff pastry contains a lot of seasoning and paprika and the cheese inside has a bitter aftertaste
  • Hummus is below average, prepared and left in the fridge with the olive oil on top hardened from the cold
  • French fries are oily and undercooked. They are so unappetizing
  • The meat platter served with sautéed vegetables and a cooked tomato is hard and chewy. It's the kind of meat my dog finds hard to chew
  • Meat skewers were served cold even though they were tender
  • Rice is over cooked. I thought I was eating a raw concrete mix with green beans
  • Lahme Beajine? Lol! They taste like sh..!

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In a nutshell, the food is disgusting and unacceptable to be served in any restaurant. I'm ashamed, as a Lebanese, to have such a bad thing representing my fine cuisine the world talks about. The minuses and unacceptable things:

  • Food is the worst I have ever tasted in my life. By far the worst
  • Plates are stingy and minuscule. Was that a single bite or a plate of Hummus?
  • One single beat was playing in the background the whole night long when the singer decided to take a break. It was like putting your head in a drum roll
  • Forks are too small to eat with. Those are used for desserts only. Consider changing them
  • Service is below mediocre. I won't even call it a service but a bunch of men driving trays from the kitchen to the tables. Nothing I ordered was even delivered
  • We had some waiters visit us at the very beginning to serve the food and that was it. I think they had a card game to attend to in the kitchen
  • I ordered a Diet Coke which I never received, -It was charged- while the Shisha was delivered 30 minutes after by the head waiter himself, the table was left dirty all night long
  • Nobody proposed desserts
  • Don't Lebanese restaurants usually offer fruits?

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Yes, it is that bad. I still cannot believe my eyes. My palatal buds has not stopped screaming in pain since...

PS: The ambassadors of Syria and Lebanon should take action against this restaurant which claims to actually be serving our countries' cuisine. I felt sorry...

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